Saturday, February 4, 2012

Not All Girls Bring You Lasagna...

My wife and I never signed prenuptials before marrying. We've been happily married for almost 7 years. Thankfully she tolerates my geeky obsessions and has even joined me in the dark side for a few of them. Some marriages, however, can be strained by geeky obsessions, like any other obsession such as sports or video games. The result of a strained marriage can mean a messy divorce where the geeky life-long collection of toys or comics comes to an end. In these cases prenups would have been ideal.

From SF website.
An article from the website Science Fiction recently posted  a story about Tony Alleyne, of England, who lost his customized flat to his ex-wife. This was no ordinary flat but one that was personally customized into a replica of the star ship Voyager! Tony had, with incredible patience and skill, transformed his flat into a real-life Trekie dream, minus the warp drive! The verdict from his long divorce showed that it was his wife that actually owned the flat he had transformed into a piece of Star Trek heaven. So with this decision, Tony was forced into destroying all his customized Trekie embellishments. In all, Tony had spent over $150,000 US and 16 years to create this 'man cave' fit for Captain Janeway herself, only to see it disappear the same way his marriage had!

From SF website.
Not to be outdone was an earlier story  (also posted on Science Fiction) where a man was kicked out of the house by his ex-girlfriend. She piled and bagged up his life's collection of Star Wars collectibles and threw them out into the neighbouring alleyway. Blessed with clear skies and two working arms, the man hurried to save his collection. While I feel for this guy in the way of having a life's collection being put in jeopardy, I feel more strongly that if he had put as much gusto into his relationship that he now (presumably) would not be back to living in his parent's basement. I would say the same argument goes for Mr. Alleyne but to be fair the story of these two men's actual relationships is left unsaid, except (and it is telling) that the stories never mentioned if these men were in new relationships.

The moral of these two stories is that if you are entering a serious relationship and have a geeky passion, you must then make a decision! Before entering a serious relationship, decide what is more important: your geeky obsession or your relationship with your significant other. If it is your obsession that wins out, then make sure you have prenups in hand because chances are your serious, real-life relationship will falter. A good relationship is built on love, respect and to devoting time to being with one another. In this case, the second option is to continue your geeky obsessions with a modest amount of restraint and understanding that it is not the most important component to your life. 

Personally, I love my geeky obsessions such as Lego, comic books, and science-fiction movies. However, it is the relationship with my wife that means more. It is for this reason that my wife has shown interest in my hobbies, as I have shown interest in her's. A solid relationship is built on understanding what is truly important, which I suppose is something that neither of the men in the  two stories above understood before they entered serious relationships. 

So to all the geeks in relationships out there, remember that it's easier to replace a collectible than it is a relationship! Don't take it fore-granted!

The wise Silent Bob (Clerks) sums it up best.

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